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Finding the Right Words to Rule and Control Your Anger

Let’s say something bad happens. It could be your boss being unfair to you, or your partner feeling hurt for no apparent (to you) reason. Or your teacher, or your colleague, or your son or daughter do something stupid. Or you do something stupid and get caught. In other words, an upsetting event.

Speaking our mind, having a voice—letting people know what we really think—is often suppressed by the fear that we will come across angry and out of control. Sometimes worse is the fear that no one will listen or that everyone will get even more upset. Is it worth saying anything, or is it better to swallow our frustrations?

Emotional conflict can be so very frustrating. If we do not know how to manage it, we will most likely not feel satisfied with the outcome. There can be many unwanted and often unforeseen negative consequences of acting on the first impulse when upset. This will likely include the angry reaction of the person at the receiving end of our verbalized frustrations, which may lead to a never ending string of complications and worries. We have all faced such situations.
How can one find the right words to rule and control anger? Is there a recipe we can use when we are upset about something to express that feeling eloquently and successfully change the course of the negative events? Should we act instinctively and lash out our anger at the person in front of us, making everybody angry and digging a deeper hole for ourselves? Or should we withdraw within ourselves and slowly brew in our own self-destructive anger, saying nothing, resolving nothing, only perpetuating a bad situation and making it a hundred times worse?
Are there better options than to say nothing and implode or to say the first thing that comes to mind and explode outwardly? Continue reading and you will consider a third option.

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